AusFinance Gazette

The best and worst property listing videos

At the end of the day, real estate agents have one job—to sell property.

To get the job done, some prefer to take the traditional route while others resort to less conventional tactics to seal the deal. Like rapping about a four bedder with a “second loo”, for example. Yeah, it’s as bad as it sounds. Inspired by our recent story on Gosford realtor Richard Faulkner’s viral hit, here are some of the best and worst property listing videos out there.

Chamberlain Rd, Padstow

Kicking things off with LJ Hooker Banktown’s un-finest hour, or rather, 2 minutes and 25 seconds. What starts off as a slick showing quickly spirals into a cinematic sexcapade that sees a couple gyrate all over the house before arriving in the bedroom where the video (thankfully) ends. But not before sock-only households across the nation are left shaken by a particularly graphic strut across the marble kitchen counter in shoes that only moments earlier kissed the driveway outside. One can only hope the house came with chopping boards.

Randell St, Parkdale

Though Victorian agent Jason Swift appears to be describing the onset of a heart attack in the opening dialogue of this property listing video, things take an unexpected turn. Inexplicably, Jason is struck by lightning before entering the house. Instead of ending up in the hospital, he finds himself inside a cosy two-bedroom, one-bathroom home in Parkdale, seemingly unaffected by the dramatic near-death experience we all witnessed only moments ago. The video ends with Jason reassuring anyone with questions or queries to get in touch, and honestly, I bet most of them had nothing to do with the house.

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Leane Ave, Ridgehaven

If cringe had a home address, it’d be 8 Leane Ave, Ridgehaven. Inside, you’ll find Andrew K, a real estate agent who possesses the lyrical prowess of a young Tupac Shakur. “There’s decking, pergola, and four bedrooms too, and a spotless bathroom with a second loo”, he raps, before welcoming potential buyers to “meet with me, bitch.” Though recorded in 2013, legend has it the property’s still on the market today…

Morrie Laing Avenue, Mount Roskill

Continuing with the theme of hip hop artists moonlighting as realtors, here we have the crew behind Ray White Maguires One Team doing what they do best: freestyling. With a flow as smooth as those camera pans between the kid’s bedroom and the bathroom, this listing looks like it might’ve cost as much as the house it’s trying to sell. In all fairness, they still did a much better job than the infamous Denver Homes fresh prince parody that got the entire team fired.

Bellbird Court, Wolumla

Look, there’s a lot to unpack here. But first can we fix the sound? Longest pocket dial ever.

Loongana Avenue, Glenroy

Remember how funny The Castle was? This won’t help remind you. Attempting the classic Australian humour angle minus the humour, this listing takes us inside “the quintessential Aussie dream”, AKA a three-bedroom, one-bathroom home in Glenroy. Crikey indeed.

Normanby Street, Wulguru

But not all ‘Occa’ comedic attempts fail, and Townsville estate agent Christian Agapiou, AKA Bruce the Property Spruce, is the perfect example. Taking us on a tour of “a true tradie’s palace”, Bruce praises the properties ‘thorough’ fencing job while boasting about his ferocious, um, chicken.

Lygon Street, Carlton

Taking a leaf out of Richard Faulkner’s tongue-in-cheek tone, the team at Noel Jones Doncaster do a spectacular job of satirising the hell out of deceitful listings with this one. Feasting their eyes on a dark and dingy bedroom in a rundown sharehouse in Carlton, the agents remark that the “décor is to die for”, before one of them walks underneath a poorly positioned low hanging lamp and declares “this room touches you, it literally touches you”. Definitely a diamond in the rough (the listing video, not the house).

High St, Glen Iris

Though history might suggest otherwise, not all parody videos are D.O.A. Stefan at Collings Real Estate makes a solid case for a gimmick listing with this funny skit based on the iconic thriller Psycho. Complete with hilarious narration that seamlessly weaves features of the property with strangely mesmerising footage of a man slowly removing his eye mask, it’s definitely more memorable than most.

Zed Real Estate

Did you really think we’d put a list together without mentioning Zed? Not only do the luxe listers love a good hair and make up team, they also have a penchant for mizpelling words, like ‘Zold’, ‘Lizting’ and ‘Zlog’. While this here isn’t technically a property video, it seems a travesty not to include this music video slash agency ad that’ll leave you asking, “Drake who?”

But is it one of the best videos on this list, or one of the worst? We’ll let you decide.

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